Monday, September 11, 2006

Little Secret Steps Toward Islam

Little Secret Steps Toward Islam


My name is Julianne (Noora) Scasny. I was born in the United States
to a mother who is Syrian (Arab) Christian and a father who is white
European descent. Both are Catholic. When I was 15 years old I
wanted to be a nun in the Roman Catholic church. So I was close in
relationship to God — or so I thought — and never really had this so-
called personal relationship with Jesus (peace be upon him).
Anyway, in my world history class we were studying Middle Eastern
history, which I was very interested in, and we stumbled on the
subject of Islam. There was a student from Egypt and he was
correcting the teacher on the misconceptions about Islam. I just
remember saying to myself, "Wow! he is correcting the teacher.
Usually the teacher corrects the student!" After that day in class I
asked him what was the difference between Catholicism and Islam. He
said, "Not that much." I was not satisfied with this answer, so I
studied Islam on the computer at school. He introduced me to his
family and one day I asked his mother if I could have a copy of the
Qur'an in English.

Al-hamdu lillah (all praise to God), she gave me an English
translation by Yusuf Ali, and I couldn't put it down. To me, when I
read the Bible, it seemed like there was always some meaning behind
what was being read because the words had been changed, but the
Qur'an spoke to my heart and I knew it was from Allah. So I became a
Muslim in my heart, al-hamdu lillah.

When my parents found out I was interested in Islam, they tried to
forbid me from befriending Muslims. My mom called the lady who gave
me the translation of the Qur'an and told her, "Stop talking to my
daughter about Islam, you are confusing her." I remember my first
`Eid Al-Fitr (Feast of Breaking the Fast), I told my dad I had to
work as an excuse to go to `Eid Prayer. Well, he ended up finding
out that I went to the masjid. There was not one located near my
home and I couldn't drive, so I got a ride from my Muslim Pakistani
friends. That was the first time I saw the Muslims all together
performing the same ritual. Anyway, my dad brought me to my friend's
house and told her mom that he didn't want her to give or lend me
any more literature about Islam. She was very respectful and
said, "I won't, but when she is in my home she is free to read
whatever she wants."

Afterwards my mom made me go talk to the priest of the Catholic
church to talk about Islam and the dream I had. My dad started to
search my room every so often and took my copy of the Qur'an, prayer
clothing, literature, and threw them out. I used to cry so much
because of this. I even had to hide my Qur'an in the air-
conditioning vent! My dad took the lock off my door, so I had to
pray in secret when my parents were sleeping. It was so hard. My dad
used to tell me, "As long as you are living under my roof you will
obey my rules and you will go to church and be Catholic." I didn't
know what to do. I asked my friend's parents what to do and they
told me listen to my parents. Well, I did and for the next four
years my life was a total disaster.

Four years later at the age of 20, I called the lady who had given
me the Qur'an to ask about the new masjid that was being built. She
told me, "Come and see for your self." Well, ironically this masjid
was in a building that was used originally as a teenage nightclub!
And my own sister previously was arrested for being drunk. Subhan
Allah (glory be to Allah)! So I went to the dinner at the masjid and
that feeling all came back to me.

The power of the Adhan brought me to tears. I told myself, "I don't
care what my parents say. I don't care what anyone says! I want this
feeling. I want to be a practicing devout Muslim! I am sick of
trying to do things my way! I submit to the will of Allah Almighty."
Al-hamdu lillah, that Ramadan I made Shahadah in the back of the
masjid in front of a group of women because the imam was afraid of
what my parents would do if I made Shahadah out loud in front of
everyone. I started wearing hijab that Ramadan.

My parents to this day will not stop telling me "Take that thing off
your head! Can't you dress younger or wear shorts?" I just tell
them "Look at the pictures your people paint of Mary. What does she
look like in those pictures? She looks like a Muslim woman!" My own
grandparents told me to go to hell! My mom used to cook pork and lie
and say it was beef! I would ask my dad "Please don't take the dog
downstairs where I pray" — I was living in the basement of my
parents' house — and he would say "This is my house" and he would do
it anyway. Then I desperately argued with him "You don't bring the
dog to church, do you?"

My mom would force me to get a job while I was in college, even in
places where they serve alcohol. I used to beg the people at the
masjid for money, crying my eyes out for help to Allah. Al-hamdu
lilah, Allah is so Merciful, He gave me a husband and I got married
at age 21. And now a little over a year later at the age of 22 I'm
pregnant with my first baby. Of course my family keeps bothering me
about Islam, but I'm so grateful to Allah. I try to give my parents
da`wah all the time and pray for them, but Allah guides whom He
wills.

I just sit here sometimes and look at the Muslims and think how you
people don't really know what it is like to have parents who don't
believe in your religion. I just look at some Muslims and become
sick because I wish my parents were with me, but then again Muslims
are my family now.

Muslims should be united as one in the constant worship of Allah, in
sha' Allah (Allah willing) through prayer, dhikr, reading Qur'an,
good manners, and not fighting among themselves. May Allah
strengthen the faith and piety and fear of Allah and good manners of
every single Muslim.

1 Comments:

At 2:21 AM, Blogger Winter said...

Aslamu Alaikom Sister Julliane
welcome back to islam. Masha'allah your story was inspiring and reminds me of the early muslims. May Allah bless you and make jannah your home in the next life, Ameen!

 

Post a Comment

<< Home